WNYMoms.com

I think starting to critique how other's parent is a slippery slope. As many on here already said, sometimes you don't know the whole story.

I am not trying to critique anyone's parenting and I am not intending to offend anyone. I am honestly trying to understand what makes a mother have the desire to leave her newborn to go out and do something else, because I really never felt that way. It really terrified me to be away from my son, especially when he was first born. And it still makes me very uncomfortable to leave him for a night.

Like I previously stated, going on dates with your husband or going to a concert or out for a drink here or there is no big deal. That's completely normal. It's the extreme end that these 2 moms seem to be on that concerns me. I know people will say it's none of my business, but when you post pictures like these on a world-wide website, your privacy is kind of thrown to the wind IMO.

I do apologize if I offended anyone on here. I honestly was not implying I am better than anyone else and I certainly do not want to come across as judging any of your parenting styles.

I definitely didn't feel offended, no worries. I may have sounded that way but I was more trying to explain why those of us who do it, do so. Or at least why I do, I guess I can't really speak for other moms. You stated that you were trying to understand what makes a mother have the desire to leave her newborn to go out and do something else because you never felt that way and I wanted to try to help. My husband and I have always felt a need for breaks, both for us and for our son. We like to encourage him to have independence from us and we like to gift our family members with the time alone with him. They truly treasure it. Not everyone feels these same needs and that's fine. All I hope for is that regardless we are all doing the best we can. I'm sure most of us realize that we are judged all the time, often by people who don't even know us. Part of being a parent, to me, is taking that judgment, knowing when it's helpful and when it's not.

Well said, 100%!

I particularly wanted to comment on your well -worded statement: "we like to gift our family members with the time alone with him." I think it is wonderful that you have family members you can trust alone with him. Perhaps for me and my husband, the lack of desire to leave our babies was in part due to the fact that we had no family members we could trust. Honestly, my parents and my father-in-law were incapable of changing diapers. I couldn't leave a baby with any of them. My step-mother-in-law didn't come into our lives until my son was a year old, and even then it took me a long time to get to know her and trust her. Also, none of our relatives lived within 8 hours of us. I think my son was about 3 or 4 (and fully potty trained) before I could leave him alone with my parents, and even then it was only for a few hours while I was having surgery. He was almost 7 when my daughter came along and my parents were supposed to watch him overnight while I was in the hospital for the delivery. My husband and I realized (while I was in labor) that they really couldn't handle the responsibility. They were having trouble remembering to turn off the stove, and difficulty getting up with the alarm clock to get my son on the school bus. So my husband ended up not staying with me at the hosptial because he had to supervise my parents supervising our son. How crazy is that?

Next June will be the first time we leave our kids overnight with relatives. My son will be 13 and my daughter will be 6. And honestly, the person I trust is my step-mother-in-law. If it was just my father-in-law, there is no way I would leave the kids with him.