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Ok so my SIL to be is having two showers, one on our side and one on hers, ours is the traditional at a restaurant, eat nice food, open gifts etc, her mom is doing sonething for her called a open house shower, it's also called a come and go shower or a driveby shower. You have a set time from 45min to an hr, guests stop by, the bride or a friend opens your gift as soon as you walk in the door and they go and place it in a room and then you are to walk around the house and see what else she has gotten so far, now of your one of the firsts to arrive there won't be much. Anyway, they don't have a house yet so it will be at her moms house and the items will be placed around her moms house. Does anyone find this to be a tacky shower? You don't get to see everything, know who it's all from, enjoy time with people, get to know people, have a nice meal, and it kind of just seems like you're being used for a gift. Am I wrong here? Has anyone ever been to one of these?

I have never heard of it and hope never to be invited to one. It is totally weird! I am thinking heck with that. I would send a giftcard to where ever they are registered and not waste my time.

Sorry for the typos above! -- my sister said the same thing, that she doesn't want to go and my husband said to decline. Lol. I just can't believe this type of shower!

I have never heard of anything like that either. It seems weird to me, like the shower is all about the gifts rather than getting together and celebrating the occasion.

Never heard of it. I wouldn't go and I probably wouldn't send a gift.

Sounds incredibly tacky to me. Since your side is having a shower, I'd decline going to the other side.

Wow! Never heard of this, but sounds like the epitome of tacky. I surely would not go to anything like this. I'd be more likely to bring a gift to the new parents once the baby was born and I saw them/visited for the first time.

One word Tacky!!!I wouldn't go or give a gift.

Never heard of this...It just sounds like "I want a gift but don't want to see you". I hope this doesn't become a trend. I wonder if they'll send thank you cards....

Nope never heard of it either. I really can't believe anyone would actually want to have one of these. I agree mi3suns that is exactly what it sounds like.

I googles this as I was more curious as to what it was, here is a link
http://www.101babyshowerideas.com/open-house.htm

Actually after reading the link I can see where if EVERYONE is so super busy they cant commit to a party this would work.

zbsmommy, I was thinking that as I was reading these posts ... sadly, our world has become so fast paced that people don't feel they have the time to attend a shower but would rather do a come-and-go event. Maybe it's more popular in other parts of the country, but I've never heard of it. Not sure how I feel about it --- I'm going to have to read the article you attached.

I have, however, sat thru some pretty darn long showers and they can be boring if you're just a guest and don't know the bride-to-be that well. My girlfriend just went to one and sat for 4 1/2 hours with people she didn't know, because it was a friend of her husband's who was getting married. She sat in the back of the room and couldn't even really see what the bride was opening. Needless to say she was bored to tears!

I think it would be a cool idea if 1. the shower was held at the couple's "new" home so everyone could see how their gift would be a part of it and 2. if everyone stayed for the duration and 3. if the duration was 2 hours or less. Could be really fun with a few tweaks.

Extremely tacky! I would never go. But as others have mentioned, I have also been to the very boring 4 hr showers. Showers should be no more than 2 hrs and should include a nice meal, fun talking and no more than 30 minutes to watch the gifts being opened.
People throwing these showers need to really read up more on etiquette. The meal should be served within half and hour of the shower's start time. If there are games they should take no longer than 10 minutes and should be no more than 2. One game as the guests arrive and another between the meal and the cake. Especially in large showers there should be helpers with the gifts to get the cards out and partially opening the gift for the guest of honor, someone else should be there to bring the gifts to the opening table and another there to take them away. All of the present opening should of course be done while the guests are eating their cake:)
Who doesn't like a fun, tasty, yet fast moving shower?! Just my opinion though.

It makes me wonder what the wedding reception will be like? A drive-thru reception: after the wedding, hand over your gift, have one beverage and piece of cheese, and then go.
The website about the baby shower open house did make it sound a bit nice, but it still seems very impersonal. I like to see the guest of honor, see if I know other people and talk with them....
I don't know what I'd do; I think I'd decline the 2nd shower.

So isn't it funny that we still haven't heard anything or even received invites yet to this shower and it's supposed to be march 31. Our shower for her is the 18 and our invites were sent out a whole ago and the RSVP date is already this Friday. So since we haven't heard anything, my sister txt our soon to be sister in law and she aid yes the shower is the 31 and the invites should be out soon. I was like what are they thinking? Not going to give anyone notice? Idk, you can't even bring up anything about the wedding, I'm talking anything for example shoes or reception or what not without her rolling her eyes and then yelling at my brother that everything has already been discussed. Well ok, we are a close family we are just curious, it's upsetting my mom and it's like a sore subject that no one can even bring up without feeling attacked for asking a wedding question. This bride is SO ridiculous, and you'd think she'd give more repsect, my mom watches their baby two days a week and idk maybe this is a venting topic lol, but it's bothering me and my family. My mom said she is having a talk with my brother, I think she needs to talk to his fiancé too. Oh and another thing my sister and I are the only sisters in laws and we are never included in anything from dress fitting to bachelorette weekend that she planned, idk it's just crap actually because we are always nice to that girl even with her big attitude!

I have a weird story to share too. We were skyping with my step-sister-in-law recently who is enganged. No date is set but I had heard that it will be some time in 2013. She mentioned that my daughter would be one of two flower girls and I thought I must have misheard her and said, "What did you say?" She said, "Oh, didn't I tell you that she was going to be a flower girl?" I was really shocked. I wanted to say, "Shouldn't you ask me first?" But I didn't. I just said, "No. I had no idea." I just found it really presumptuous for her to decide this, and say it in front of my daughter, without asking me or my husband first. I don't know. Maybe I'm old fashioned. But basically she has just committed me to buying a special dress and accessories, flying to her city with my daughter at least once for fittings, arriving a few days early in order to participate in the rehearsal, etc. I just really think that if someone wants my child to be in their wedding party they should ask me first. Admittedly I would have said yes, but I also would have inquired about what was expected and worked out compromises if necessary. But I feel like I wasn't given any choice or any opportunity to voice my logistical concerns. It just felt really odd to me. (By the way, my husband and his step-sister became step-siblings due to the marriage of their parents when we were already married for many years and living in a different city. So it's not like he grew up knowing her. He doesn't know his step-sister any better than I do. In fact, I think I am closer to her than he is simply because we are both women.)

Has anyone else been in a situation like this? Did someone decide that your child would be in their wedding without asking you first?

Similar Gail---my whole family is in the wedding, me my husband and our three children. No one was actually asked to be in their wedding, me and my sister were sent an email saying what dress she wanted for all her bridesmaids and that was her way of asking us, then for my husband and brother and brother in law, my brother just said about a month ago, as my groomsmen here is all the tux info, etc. Theb for all the kids, they were never really asked, well us as parents because they are all young, it was just assumed that all the kids would be in the wedding, then after she wanted us to buy dresses for the girls that were $150 and we saud that was too much for one and two yr old girls, then it became a whole big deal with the bride because all the dresses we were finding had ivory on them and our girls are NOT allowed to wear ivory at all, just their daughter. Our girls HAVE to wear Alfred Angelo tealness it's called. So after that whole big deal they wee actually going to remove the kids from the weddingbecaude they didn't want such a "hassle" the day of the wedding. After much explanation to the groom and bride that the day is going to be the same whether they are in it it not, the kids were kept inthe wedding. We had to order material for the girls dresses because it turns our cheaper to have them made then buying them. It is turning into such a bigger deal then a happy day. :( sad up say because it's my own brother.

$150! For a toddler's dress?! Oh no, what am I in for?

I bet this is going to be really expensive. This bride has very expensive tastes and spends money much more freely than we do, even though they are not in a financial position to do so. And quite honestly, I might have to give the bride and groom a smaller gift if my expenses for my daughter amount to hundreds of dollars.

That's weird that people just assume you know that you're in the wedding party especially when it involves your kids. My boys were all in my BFF's sister's wedding. We all consider ourselves family and most people think we are although, technically, we're not blood related. Her sister asked me privately if it was OK first because she wanted ALL her nephews in the wedding (plus she was having a no children allowed wedding and by having the boys in the wedding party she had an excuse for ONLY having them there). I said it was fine as long as it was fine with the two "blood" nephews. She had already cleared it with them because they already think of themselves as cousins. She was really good about dressing the boys and her sister and I worked really hard to find stuff that went with the colors of the wedding party on the cheap. I realize that people want certain things for their wedding but you still have to consider the incomes of others.